By Kim Hudson and Angela Hooie
Children's Ministry Leaders (CMLs) can partner with parents and caregivers ("grown-ups") to equip them as the primary spiritual leaders in their children's lives.
CMLs often find themselves wondering how to effectively partner with parents and other caregivers ("grown-ups") in nurturing the spiritual growth of children. While parents are undoubtedly the primary spiritual influencers in their children's lives, CMLs play a vital supporting role.
Understanding the "Grown-Ups"
The term grown-up encompasses anyone with spiritual influence in a child's life, including parents, grandparents, guardians, single parents, stepparents, and foster parents. It's crucial to remember that these individuals, regardless of their background or circumstances, are united by their love for the children in their care and their desire to see them grow in their faith.
Sometimes, I think we forget they’re human. We forget that grown-ups and leaders have spouses, jobs, stress, diets, playlists, pets, debt, degrees, vacations, heartbreaks, rent, and doubts. We have to understand that they’re very real people with real lives outside of our ministry. They know things we don’t and have very important responsibilities outside of our ministries.
Bridging the Gap
Research has revealed a disconnect between the perspectives of CMLs and grown-ups regarding the primary responsibility for children's spiritual formation. While CMLs often feel that parents should take the lead, parents express a desire for partnership and support from the church. This highlights a crucial opportunity for CMLs to engage and equip grown-ups in their spiritual parenting journey.
Strategies for Engaging Grown-Ups
- Building Relationships: While emails, parent meetings, and other forms of communication are valuable, they should be part of a larger strategy focused on building relationships, mentoring, and discipling grown-ups.
- Redefining "the Win": CMLs need to shift their perspective and recognize that the "win" for parents is not solely about attending church events or programs. Rather, it's about winning at life and parenting at home, which in turn enables them to help their children win.
- Seeing Grown-Ups as Real People: It's important to remember that parents and caregivers have complex lives outside of church. Recognizing their humanity and acknowledging their diverse experiences and challenges fosters empathy and understanding.
- Showing Up for Grown-Ups: Success in children's ministry is not measured by attendance numbers but by how well CMLs show up for and serve families. This involves meeting them where they are and supporting them in their unique contexts.
- Listening to Parents: Effective engagement starts with listening to the needs and desires of parents. By understanding their challenges and aspirations, CMLs can provide tailored resources and support.
- Fostering Mutual Respect: CMLs play a key role in shaping how parents and church volunteers view and interact with each other. Building trust and respect between these groups is essential for creating a collaborative and supportive environment.
- Leveraging Events as Catalysts for Relationships: Events and programs should be viewed as opportunities to build relationships and deepen connections with families.
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Resourcing Grown-Ups: Partnering with grown-ups allows the opportunity to join in their most joy-filled days and, often, in their hardest days (a cancer diagnosis, deaths, losses, illnesses and other difficult days) too. To be prepared to walk alongside grown-ups when called on by having trusted resources on hand allows a CML to step in at a moment's notice. The difficult days, grief, cancer ,and illness books below are the perfect starting points. Each was created by a team of professionals to equip ministry leaders to offer encouragement and hope. They are filled with Bible verses and encouraging words so that CMLs are prepared with trusted resources to walk through hard days with families.
Remembering My Special Someone Grief Book for Children
Facing Cancer with Hope
Facing Illness with Hope
Facing Difficult Days with Hope
Grieving with Hope
Shifting the Culture
By embracing a spiritual formation approach and recognizing the vital role of grown-ups in children's spiritual lives, CMLs can create a powerful ripple effect that transforms the entire church community's perspective on children's ministry. This shift involves viewing every interaction and program through the lens of God's love and plan for each child and empowering parents to be the primary spiritual guides in their children's lives.
Remember, disciples make disciples. By partnering with and equipping grown-ups, we can change the culture of the next generation to one of hope in a culture filled with anxiety.
